No, I am stuck with smaller umbrellas. You know, the kind that are more manageable, the kind that can be stowed out of sight in a purse. The kind that won't randomly attack others and leave me with a lawsuit over failure to control. My umbrellas usually come from the dollar store, but after years of my those babies blowing inside out in the middle of rainstorms and me getting drenched as a result and looking like an idiot with my umbrella flapping in the wind, I upgraded to a Totes brand mid-sized umbrella. Totes is the must-have brand, the Gucci of umbrellas. Not only do they truly honor their lifetime free replacement without a receipt guarantee, even the smaller versions don't give up against Ohio's wind . (And, even though I made fun of him for having a gigantic Totes umbrella that he goes and replaces regularly, I must thank my darling, ever-so-smart husband for purchasing this umbrella for me.)
However, even with a more manageable-sized umbrella, I still can't manage to effectively operate the cantankerous rain catcher.
I'm seriously uncoordinated. And umbrellas were not manufactured for those of us in this category of people. My main issues with the umbrella are as follows:
- Exiting the car without getting wet. I've seen it done gracefully by others, but I always end up dropping something and getting poured on.
- Entering the car and closing the umbrella without getting wet. I end up with a lap full of water when I attempt this. Every. SINGLE. time. There's always a moment when I am sitting in the car, with rain pouring down my arm, trying to figure out how to shut the umbrella that is still open and stuck on the open car door.
- Where does a sopping wet umbrella go after you get it shut and are in the car? And how do you get it there without covering yourself and the car in water?
- Entering a building. Do you shut the umbrella before you go in the door? If you do, doesn't that mean you get wet and defeat the purpose of having an umbrella? if you don't, you risk getting stuck going through the door with an open umbrella and then dumping water all over yourself and the floor of the building when you do get inside.
If umbrella hats were actually effective at guarding the body and the bag, I'd totally rock one.
In the end, my inability to use an umbrella successfully will not matter when I'm dead.