Other instances of my crappy luck include a day last week, where I was trying to show a movie version of "Great Expectations" in class. This is a seemingly-simple lesson plan: show the movie., but I had never watched the movie before, and by the time I got around to it, I realized I couldn't show it in class because of its totally inappropriate and vomit-inducing approach. Of course, this was a Sunday night. Meaning, I had no time to effectively resolve the issue. I found I could, however, stream another version of it through Amazon. I bought the movie on Amazon: problem solved (by midnight). Except then I got to class the next day and the internet in the school decided to cut in and out every five seconds, so it took me a whole 20 minutes to get the stupid movie up and running., which is throwing off my lesson plans by an entire day now.
Really, though, the icing on the cake of my bad luck lately came yesterday. Brace yourself because this is truly horrifying.
I am by no means a squeamish person for the most part. I can deal with people getting hurt in real life (for some reason, I can't watch it on TV?), am able clean up most poop and puke disasters with ease, and successfully stuck my hand up a turkey's butt to remove a bag of giblets that were hidden for quite some time. But what happened to me yesterday made me feel sick.
It all started out innocently enough. I was in the kitchen making Paleo doughnuts. I haven't really talked about our lifestyle change that my husband and I made in July, but I'll get around to our Paleo eating and CrossFit at some point. They deserve their own post. Anyway. I was making these doughnuts yesterday morning, pretty pleased with myself for, as usual, not following the recipe and the batter tasting pretty darn good still. I was looking for some coconut flour because I ran out of the first can of it, and as I rummaged around the cabinet, lo and behold, I stumbled across these delicious little things.
If you're wondering, the doughnuts turned out okay. I say "okay" because, so far, nothing I have created with a bread-like texture that is Paleo-approved can compare to these INCREDIBLY DELICIOUS blueberry chai muffins. They are heavenly. But this post is not about that. Or the okay doughnuts.
Noooo, this post is about my crap luck. So I ate the peanut butter chips. And they were delicious. Until about four hours later when Mike walked into the living room with a glass of adult beverage and said, "I need this because I just saw something horrible." Naturally, I inquired as to what that horrible thing could have been.
With a disgusted look on his face, the kind of look that makes you feel like YOU want to throw up because you know the other person almost did, he said, "Well, I went in the cabinet and opened the bag of the peanut butter chips, and I saw something move."
Cue horror and disgust as I whined, "You mean that little end of the bag of the peanut butter chips? The one right in the front?"
Sadly, he nodded. And as I shrieked in disgust and a bit of worry, he told me not to be too upset because he only saw one wiggly thing.
Listen, I have seen maggots before.--a whole bunch of them at once, in fact. And I have eaten some TERRIBLE things. But when I think about the following thing in my mouth and ALIVE,
Here's hoping my luck turns around tomorrow. (It hasn't today, as I am looking at at least another two solid hours of work before I can sleep for