And let me be the first to admit that I totally let it ruin some of my mornings. I'm not great at getting moving quickly in the morning, but since I refuse to get up earlier tham 5:00 am EVER, I have to move pretty quickly in the morning to get to the middle school on time and before the kids arrive. Sometimes I just don't feel like planning out my outfit or packing my lunch the night before--and that means that silly stuff takes up part of my morning the next day as a result. This also means that the days I don't bother planning some of this stuff the night before so I can just run out the door once I've worked out and showered, these are also the days that the car is inevitably covered in snow or ice in the morning. Especially when I am already running late. I should just remember to go outside and start the car when I notice that I am a few minutes behind schedule, because somehow, that always means I will need to get a few more minutes behind by standing outside and scraping the windows until I can see out of them. It makes me furious a lot of mornings. For those of you who don't know, I have a pretty big temper--and it is fast to show itself when I am at home. Aside from my husband and my parents and brother and some roommates, no one really ever sees that side of me so that's good. But it lives and is very alive and well and burning in the mornings What're ya gonna do? I suppose I could try to be happy about being alive instead of being so angry about being late and messing with a frozen car, but, really? Who am I kidding? There's no way I'm gonna stand outside in my stupid wet dress shoes and pea coat while scraping ice off the car, already 5 minutes late, and be thankful for my circumstances. Nooo, that's not really me.
Anyway, snow is okay. I don't like it when I need to go places or when I have to stand in it and be cold, but it's fine to look at and play in. We ran the dogs all over yesterday instead of going on a walk, and we had a good time. It's mostly fun to watch them run as fast as they possibly can for a while and then go back inside and watch them crash immediately. That's fun. And snow is pretty. I'm really thankful not to be at the university this semester really. I don't miss walking three miles through crappy weather and then having to teach in a 90-degree room in the basement of some old dorm--or the opposite, teaching on the fourth floor of a building where only one outlet works in the room--and it only works sometimes--and the room is about a toasty 45 degrees the whole hour. I do not miss these things, and I am happy to NOT be slogging through the weather between every (or any!) class I teach. I'm hoping those long, uncomfortable walks are over for good now...only time will tell though.
This entry is kind of pointless. I just felt like I should probably update...for...the "masses" of people who read. Hello, all you people who never leave a comment.
I'm debating right now--do I plan my lessons for the week and then go to the gym and junk? Or vice versa? And do I try and do that 4 mile run I'm supposed to do today? I can't manage to run on treadmills for more than about 2 miles. It's some kind of mental block, and I am bored immediately and would rather run through knee-high snow outside than run on a treadmill. Hats off to those of you who can do it, I just can't. I don't know why. The first winter I ran through, it was the first year I ran regularly, we had temperature below zero all the time. And I ran through them. Every other day. Kind of crazy. I'm not that committed anymore. But I also don't have 20 pounds to lose, so there's that.
I had a stupid teeth dream last night again. My front teeth were loose and when I wiggled them, they fell out. Man, do I hate those dreams. i know I'm super-stressed right now. I'm hoping I can calm down in the next weeks, or I am going to be a sleepless-disaster by the time May rolls around. I just took over teaching all the classes, and I am beyond stressed when I am not actually teaching. I'm not sure why that is--and the funny part is that unless I am at like my absolute maximum stress-level, I don't feel stressed, but stress definitely manifests itself in other ways in my life. So right now, I don't feel stressed out, but I know I am because of a few different reasons. I've been having nightmares, so that's one. I got cold sores the second week in the classroom--I pretty much only get those when I am overly stressed now. I am not getting enough sleep, but I only feel tired at night. My sleep schedule has always been a challenge for me--always. I am not a normal sleeper, and I can't tell you how frustrating and awful that is. The nights I need sleep the most, I can guarantee that I won't get it. My mind does. not. stop. Last week, when I took all the classes over, I went to bed Sunday night at 9. AT 9. I have no idea when I went to bed at 9 at night last. Maybe in middle school. At any rate, I fell asleep, but then proceeded to wake up about every hour, and the second I woke up, I was thinking about teaching. And then, after so many times of waking up, I get angry because I can't sleep. Really angry. And I have to work really hard to try and calm down. And then I tell myself that it's okay if I don't sleep, even just resting is better than sleeping. Butttt because I am thinking so much, I'm not really resting either. And then by the time the alarm goes off, I've finally fallen asleep. And then I let myself go a half hour later, run around like a crazy moron all morning, get out the door just in time, and manage to do everything just fine all day and feel fine. Even though I'm living on probably 2 or 3 real hours of sleep. I'm hoping I'll only go through a few weeks of this crappy pattern, or I will start to really suffer here sooner or later. I find that worrying about it, however, is a colossal waste of time and accomplishes nothing, so, for now, the theory is that I will sleep when my body and mind decide to let me. In the mean time, I will not. That's how that goes. There was a period of two years in high school where I didn't sleep...like ever. And I lived. So, I have to figure, this is nothing like that--and I'll live.
Anyway, that's the end of my pointless entry today. I guess I'll plan then go to the gym then maybe attempt my run outside...but I know I won't get to four miles. It's not easy to run on the snow and not fall on my butt, so concentrating on that is enough work to count for four miles at three.